By Hứa Hiếu, translation by Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm
542.
__________
I’ve never applied for residency
here, the native has never counted upon, nor acknowledged my existence
perhaps, here and there in the shadows
lost in the dark(of night)
to them I’m not much of a surprise
not unlike thirsty desiccated trees
lucky, here, no one needs the firewood
nor do I desire my homeland
or the blocks of firewood
to heat up NYE.
all I need is a few shots of soothing wine
to sleep
to forget where I’m sleeping.
_____
tôi không xin ở lại
dân bản địa cũng chẳng đếm xỉa gì sự hiện hữu của tôi, nơi đây
có lẽ, cũng quẩn quanh khá nhiều bóng
đêm lưu lạc
họ không ngạc nhiên lắm
như lũ cây khô thiếu nước
cũng may, nơi đây, chẳng ai cần củi
quê hương tôi cũng chẳng cần
kể cả khúc củi
sưởi ấm đêm giao thừa.
tôi cũng cần dăm chung rượu ấm
để ngủ
để không cần biết mình sẽ ngủ ở đâu.
___________
Hứa Hiếu
3 replies on “Hứa Hiếu | 542 (14)”
It is really great and honourable of you to share these translated poetry and words of heavy hearts and lives. And in this one, even being not seen by the “own” people, those who should be there for each other, a real and painful experience. I think the “lost in the dark(of night)” says it all, this extra mentioning, which kind of darkness is meant.
In case I already asked, sorry, but what does your name mean? Or do you know?
My actual name means “God is merciful & strong like a rock”, at least this is what some data says and someone also told me. But it is just “John & Peter”.
And although I wasn’t really able to make this much than a meaning of a name, it really meant something to me, before I denied myself and got pushed towards things I never really wanted.
For me it was wonderful how some indgeous people at some point gave their children names with meaning which then actually meant something, unlike names in society usually are seen.
Especially that there has to be a certain way in which they have to be.
And sure names aren’t everything and people can also give themselves all kinds of names when with friends for example. I hated my name and everything about it, but not the name, just the feeling I usually had when it was spoken – fear, pain, questions, pressure, confusion, bullying, jokes, …
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more than 5 years I started translating Vietnamese literature for myself, to learn the language. One my favourite encouraged me to share them.
As for my name Nguyen is a family name traced back to the Nguyen Dynasty, Thi – of female gender, Phuong – a direction of sort, a very common middle name like Thi for girls, Tram is a forest tree in SE Asia.
Sadly bullying is prevalent everywhere, only due to ignorance. Reading was one way I had escape such trauma of my childhood. As for now, I call them out. Time is wisdom one should hope.
Take care yeah.
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So you are a tree! 😊
And thank you!
Well, my family name just means cook in german, nothing special behind it, pretty boring. In general, average german names and families are very boring…
You take care as well. 💜 ❤
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