By Lê Vĩnh Tài, translated by Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm
if you could read my thoughts
you shall see over a thousand newspapers
full of poets
jammed pack
the verses full of blood
with exemplars
sad tales
unwritten
if you could read my thoughts
you shall hear the terrifying screams
the shattered dreams
jot down in bed
if you could read my thoughts
you shall see the shadows
hidden inside me
you will hear the bells
the words resounding:
– I’m tired, I’ve err
I am a failure
if you could read my thoughts
you shall feel the tears
I’ve shed
you shall see the holes
that no one could escape
if you could read my thoughts
you could be reading
a book you never want to
touch nor read
but now and then I would wish
someone could read my thoughts…
_____
nếu bạn có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi
bạn sẽ thấy trên hàng ngàn tờ báo
đầy những nhà thơ
bế tắc
những câu thơ đầy máu
với những mẩu
chuyện buồn thảm
chưa được viết
nếu bạn có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi
bạn sẽ nghe thấy tiếng thét kinh khủng
từ giấc mơ tan vỡ
viết vội trên một chiếc giường
nếu bạn có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi
bạn sẽ thấy những cái bóng
ẩn giấu trong tôi
bạn sẽ nghe thấy tiếng chuông
rít lên những từ ngữ:
– tôi mệt mỏi, tôi phạm lỗi
tôi là một kẻ thất bại
nếu bạn có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi
bạn sẽ cảm thấy những giọt nước mắt
tôi đã từng khóc
bạn sẽ thấy những lỗ thủng
mà không ai được giải thoát
nếu bạn có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi
bạn sẽ có thể đọc
một cuốn sách bạn không bao giờ muốn
chạm vào và đọc
nhưng đôi khi tôi vẫn ước
ai đó có thể đọc được suy nghĩ của tôi…
3 replies on “Lê Vĩnh Tài | if you could read my thoughts (81)”
And so it be old friend Lê Vĩnh Tài,
although we might have never met and never see each other.
In thought we were one, by hearts shattered pieces.
But there is light, there was always light and more beyond.
Like you, if only people could have read my thoughts and seen my visions.
But I know they did, at least some of them might here and there.
Hopefully more and more now, these days, everywhere.
The weight of the world upon our shoulders.
The weight of it all until we fall.
And so I laid on the floor like dead, left my body it seemed.
See it all around when walking, when being in bed.
As if I watch a stranger there.
I failed to die, so I thought I can’t fail more.
But then I probably haven’t really tried, was meant for it at all.
But then was anyone?
When I was or am fully me, I couldn’t see the full abyss (anymore).
I only see an endless space fill with endless variation, although maybe hidden in detail.
I just knew it was there, like one knows a book might be fill with pages full of words.
They could all be empty, but usually when you open one, it is full of words.
So like with a book I know what is in it before I open it,
although I can’t be sure and was surprised each time.
And by my freezing toes and fingers, I know that the endless seeming pain can’t be forever.
Those who fail to be, they are gifted to see.
So they may teach, and feel for all those who are forgotten, for they seem one of them.
I am a weird man of many words and I wish I would have never had to use them.
Only to tell stories, sing and maybe invent some words for fun.
Or just not speak at all, if I wouldn’t have to, like thoughts speaking for themselves.
Understanding without the need of words.
Without those who catch the darkness, it would all be unseen, and might get everlasting.
The one who catches it, writes it down or in another form, they should be honored and not overseen. Without you many more might have died and got lost in the holes you mentioned.
Lê Vĩnh Tài, who ever you are, thank you for failing.
Thank you for all you did and if it just were words for others to read.
Some tears rolling down my left eye. You shall never be forgotten.
—
And thank you Trâm for translating all of these words and the ones you write yourself.
Tears of love, sadness and joy. From one shadow to another. And from the shadow to your heart. 💜
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Awe thank you, such a beautiful shadow that you are my dear ❤️❤️❤️
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❤
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